Squandered Time

This morning I was cleaning out my jewelry  box -- a chore I’ve been putting off for a long, long time.    As I pawed through its contents I found way too many mismatched earrings -- one of the pair long lost somewhere along the way; long-forgotten pieces of jewelry from my mom and grandmother; and earrings so out of date I had to laugh!    I have a tendency to put important (or seemingly important at the time) papers in my jewel box as well -- my passport, an important receipt, and the such.   As I was unfolding some of these papers I came across a letter my precious husband had written me back in 2000, before we were married.    

The letter took my breath away.   First of all, my husband seldom wrote letters and, secondly, this letter was written at a time when we were apart.    He spoke from his heart about our relationship and the treasure we shared.    The letter spoke of a cassette tape he had recorded and enclosed with the letter.  He said he hoped the tape would speak to my heart and say the words he was having trouble saying.  

At the mention of the tape I broke down in tears.   I realized that I had NEVER listened to it!   I was so angry at the time he sent it that I probably just threw the cassette away.    Then it hit me --- I had SQUANDERED something that I would give anything and everything to have today!   

How much time, love, opportunity do we SQUANDER?   I’m afraid to say that when I look back on my life, I see so, so, so many times I have SQUANDERED so many of the gifts that God has given me.     I guess it’s easier to see how much we’ve wasted as we get older.    

Growing older provides us with a wonderful, and often overwhelming, wisdom.   Wisdom is why we can look at our children at times and feel so broken-hearted when we see all that they are squandering; all that they are taking for granted.    It’s an age-old problem.   

“If  I could do it over.”    Boy, how many times do we wish we could have a “do over”?    To have the chance to react differently?  To say something nice?   To take back the words we said? Hundreds and hundreds of times is the answer.   There is no "do over" for me today.   That tape is long gone, as is my husband.   I guess he can sing me those songs when I see him again in heaven.   

Psalm 90:12 sums this up for me:   “So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.”

This is my prayer today.   I pray that I will look on each moment of my life, each interaction with the people I love, with a heart of wisdom that KNOWS that my days are numbered and precious!

Thank you, God.